Why I'm Voting For Trump

By Nate Odenkirk

Nate Odenkirk is a head writer at The Inquirist Magazine. He has contributed for The New Yorker and The Onion.

I, personally, find Mr. Trump rude and unhinged. Like millions of other Americans, I have looked on in horror as he destroys the government from within and sews discord throughout the country. That, in a nutshell, is precisely why he should be reelected.

It is unfair to expect Joe Biden to clean up a mess that Donald Trump started. If anything, Trump should remain in office until he gets his act together, however long that may take. If we give him another four years, he’ll have the time he needs to reverse course and reflect on his shortcomings as a leader. If we simply give up on Trump, we are signaling to our young children and old men that they can stink up the place and then leave. Not in my America! I believe in the you break it, you buy it principle. And if he makes the same mistakes again, well, tough luck buddy: he’ll just have to be reelected once more. 

I think Biden is a competent public servant who would make a good president. His time to make mistakes—and he has made many—has passed. Instead, Trump has positioned himself to put out literally hundreds of fires in a second term. I’m sure this is by design. In a stroke of strategic genius, the sheer magnitude and volume of the president’s mistakes have virtually sealed his re-election prospects. If you look at the polls upside down, he appears to be on a glide path to the presidency once more. 

Trump has made a mess. This November, voters will forcefully tell Trump: clean up that mess!