Comparison in Your 20s
As my 23rd birthday creeps closer, I feel as if I am running out of time. The feeling that I should have accomplished more by now is constantly gnawing at the back of my brain. Realistically, I have accomplished quite a bit in the first few years of my 20s, a decade that has just started. However, imposter syndrome, coupled with braggy milestone posts on social media from friends and acquaintances, has me feeling as though I have not done enough.
The good news, (or perhaps sad truth) is that I am not the only 20-something feeling behind. The pressure to be young and have fun, but also responsible and together, can feel like Gen-Z is being pulled in several directions all at once. In an article from The Concordian, reporter Saskia Wodarczak writes, “We’ve all had those instances where we’ve seen what other people our age are doing and accomplishing in their lives, whether it’s an internship at a well-known company, making critical investments, or big adult purchases.” Wodarczak goes on to explore the way in which Western society puts high value on external validation, coupled with the need to be exceptional.
Gen-Z seems to feel these pressures in particular because of the ways in which the generations who raised them speak to them. A new genre of TikTok video has popped up, comparing what Gen-Z members’ parents were doing at their age versus themselves. These videos are often self-deprecating and while meant to be silly, also show the deep fear of not being where we think we should be in life. The constant external pressure coupled with Gen-Z’s own internal fears can create anxiety, fear and an overall depression for some.
These days being exceptional may feel as if it is not enough. In a world where an entry-level position now requires five or more years of experience, how does a member of Gen-Z excel professionally? How can Gen-Z afford to live by themselves and gain adult independence, when renting a studio apartment can cost nearly $2,000? Being an adult is too hard, and not just a joke about the next stage of life.
Unfortunately, Gen-Z can’t turn to older generations to answer these questions.. TikToker Tilly Oddy-Black plays a variety of characters in her videos, including one she calls “Your Boomer Mum”. Oddy-Black’s character offers well-meaning, yet unhelpful advice, such as “I think it’s time to cancel your Netflix subscription,” after her off-camera son mentions his drastically increasing rent, or says things like “I really think you need to be buying a house soon sweetie.”
But this rhetoric is not helpful for 20-somethings. The truth of the matter is that, while Gen-Z does dream of being able to have what their parents and grandparents did. But, certain components of life are now far more costly and competitive than before. Many companies may hesitate to hire Gen-Z due to a lack of preparation and work experience, leaving Gen-Z to question whether they can break out of this cycle of inexperience. Recent college graduates may have participated in campus employment, but this experience is sometimes not viewed as equivalent to “real world experience.”
Having a job enables Gen-Z to pursue other experiences and desires, from wanting a place of their own to traveling. On the other side of the “pressure of your 20s coin” is the pressure to live. To make the most of life, to be young and wild, while also taking impeccable care of yourself. In a recent TikTok video, user Jack Ryan (@jackr88) expresses the feelings of being in your 20s and the expectations for Gen-Z: “Make sure to wake up at seven, make sure to work out before work, make sure to journal… make sure to see your friends, to work out, to look cute… I CAN’T KEEP UP!” Jack Ryan’s post has 1.3 million views, with thousands in his comments agreeing with his sentiments. Many detail how the stress of trying to keep up is often exhausting, and adding the layer of financial/job distress only adds to the overwhelm.
It's not that Gen-Z doesn’t want to live life and be a part of society. But social and political turmoil, an oversaturated job market, unrealistic beauty standards, competition bred on social media and the cost of simply living has made life feel unattainable for young people.
Still, Gen-Z continues to make the most of their lives. Even with the constant updates on social platforms, Gen-Z shows up with kindness and support. Gen-Z has the remarkable trait of being empathetic and kind, even when life is hard for themselves – from congratulatory comments on LinkedIn to birthday Instagram posts, and in real life as well. Does self-comparison still occur? Absolutely. But in those moments it is important to remember everyone is running their own race.
Here's the thing: You are not running out of time. You are not behind. You are exactly where you are meant to be. Just because someone you know has something you want, does not mean you are behind. Everything you want and hope and dream for yourself is still very much attainable, and life will continue after your 20s.