The Scroll and The Self

Have you ever felt the urge to disappear from the face of social media on a random Tuesday? That's right — the tingling sensation that leads our fingers to the settings and eventually the deactivation button. Why are we driven to do this? What are the chains of thought leading to this action? But then, why is it that we find ourselves logging back into our accounts a few days later? 

The Inclination

Life does not have a perfect definition, but let me present a small version of mine. In my opinion, it is a form of diary containing a plethora of stories, with storms, thunder, chaos, tranquility, and euphoria engraved on each of its pages in different fonts, with unexpected twists and turns. Along with those changes come natural human reactions.

How is this relevant to us ghosting the famous yet infamous platform of constant scrolling, also known as Instagram, you may ask?

There is some sort of spark igniting this action, as we all would have felt at some point. And that spark often comes from our lifestyle changes. Maybe a series of events or emotional wreckage. Or maybe the subtle fear of losing some things precious to humanity — our ability to live, adapt, feel, and think.

The Psychology Behind It

Different factors are involved when we consider taking a break, and in some cases, a permanent leave.

Doomscrolling is what we feed ourselves from the moment we wake up to the moments when our minds beg for it all to be shut down. When we are indulged in the act of providing our brains with a constant flow of information to process without showing a "stop" sign or introducing limitations, both our brains and bodies experience an overload of various emotions.

When we go through certain pictures, reels, or headlines, whether they make us feel joy or sadness, our brains get hit with doses of dopamine. And, to continue having these micro-doses of dopamine, we feel the urge to scroll, even if it doesn't make us feel good. The amygdala, a part of our brain that is responsible for processing fear, is overstimulated during this process, triggering the fight-or-flight response and the release of cortisol (the stress hormone). The amygdala works much like an employee whose boss is constantly throwing piles of files onto their desk to review: exhausted, yet alert. If this happens frequently, it can leave our brains in a constant state of emergency, leading to a drained attention span, increased anxiety levels, headaches, low appetite, lack of sleep, and physical tension.

In order to feel as if we are actually alive and that not everything in life is about saturated photos with extravagant captions, to try and get rid of negative thoughts and emotions, reduce stress, and reclaim control over how and where our time is spent, we tend to gravitate toward the delete button.

The Extended Self

As described by Ava Thornell, there are numerous sides that constitute a person. Let us focus on two aspects. One is the version seen by everyone on a daily basis, the one who reaches out, speaks, hears, laughs, and makes decisions. The second is hidden underneath the binary codes of 0s and 1s, or in simpler words, the version of a person only accessible online.

Although the version of us on our Instagram profiles is still reaching out to people daily, it is lifeless and therefore gets covered by the passage of time. The profile pictures we keep, the bios that we change every other day, the stories we upload, the pictures or reels we delightfully share, the comments that we leave on posts and forget about within the span of two hours, and the uncountable likes that we tap on all create our extended self. As time flows by, we get tired or bored of it because that version of us becomes nothing more than a mere interpretation of who we once were.

That is where deletion takes place, maybe in the form of deleting one post or completely removing our identities, perfectly explained by Ava Thornell when she says, “We are not only clearing our timelines, but trimming away pieces of identity that no longer represent us.”

Craving Depth

Sometimes, we take a moment to reflect and realize that there were once hobbies or small rituals that we loved incorporating into our daily lives. It could be waking up early and making yourself a cup of matcha while sunbathing on your balcony, crocheting a cute little plushie, reading a book whose purpose is to surround you with a world of its own, going to the gym, or taking late-night walks.

Unfortunately, there are countless things similar to these that get thrown into a void simply because we want to see a stranger on Instagram standing in their high-rise New York City apartment or attending lavish dinner parties with exclusive car collections. Humans are prone to falling into the trap of comparison rather than remembering that life is not perfect. Instead of reinvigorating ourselves, we slowly deteriorate.

That is when deletion becomes an important part of figuring out the relationship between our minds, hearts, and souls.

But why can't I stop myself from downloading Instagram again?

Just as there are different factors involved in deletion, they are also equally, yet oppositely, involved in un-deletion.

As clinical psychologist Dr. Daniel Glazer explains, “It's a very personal decision that can bring about both liberation and challenges as we adapt to that shift” 

Fear of Missing Out

Profile deactivated. Achievement unlocked.

What happens next? A few days later, we find ourselves sitting on the couch, wondering if a specific person might have posted a reel and, if so, what it would be about.

The group chat that played a crucial part in our routines—would someone be remembering us there? What could be provoking enough to keep the conversations going?

What would be the new topics of debate in the comment sections of reels? Especially when summer is around the corner, influencers, knowing that aesthetics are largely driven by women, are bound to showcase how they are enjoying their piña colada on a beach in Hawaii or lying on a sand-resistant soft blanket while wearing a floral bikini, a bucket hat, and sunglasses. And we just want to feel included, right?

Questions like these can lead to the itch of, “Let me just log in to Instagram for five minutes, and then I'll delete it again.”

Escapism

Instagram, the genius invention that makes us forget what boredom feels like and how it has to be dealt with.

During the early stages of deletion, this is exactly what we feel: boredom, with nowhere to escape from it. Though it is necessary to let ourselves be in a state of boredom, the algorithms specifically designed for us make it significantly difficult to do so. A few of us build such an unnoticeable, almost invisible connection with Instagram or other social media platforms that they become the only way to cure the emptiness within and keep ourselves preoccupied. Hence, the “itch” comes around again.

The Bottom Line

We, as individuals, are all survivors in a vast world of modern-day technology. In one way or another, each one of us is trying to keep our own sense of self, the “human” lying deep inside, or the brain that is able to comprehend information not provided in the form of bits and pieces, alive.

Let us also briefly acknowledge the advantages. Instagram is a global platform, allowing people from different countries to connect, fostering friendships and relationships. It allows businesses to grow through pages, digital campaigns and ads. It gives space for minds of all ages to showcase their abilities. Moreover, it can also be a source for entertainment under the circumstances of controlled usage.

This summer, try not to feel what Instagram makes you feel about the season. Try to stop seeking aesthetics and build your own. Instead of trying to capture every small detail with the perfect lighting and angle, find the beauty and immerse yourself in the sun. Persevere in the fight to not let these platforms control you. They are meant to be controlled by you.